Teenage gun violence testimony: ‘That’s what my lifestyle was like’

Part of an occasional series about teen gun violence in Springfield. Read the series introduction: Alarm over youth gun violence in Springfield creates task force, seeks root cause

Cornelius Johnson began serving time at age 20 after shooting and killing a man in Cape Girardeau.

“Lack of money. It’s all about money,” Johnson says. “Broken homes don’t have that, and whatever they have is barely enough. The children they saw there… this, and you desperately want it. Once upon a time I was a child. Same.

“I see families and so on together, I see love, I see connection. I see unity…Now most of the houses are broken. The fathers are in prison to provide for their families. Now they can’t feed their families.

“That was my lifestyle,” said Johnson, who served nine years in prison. “They’re always like, ‘You’re the owner of this house.’ We had a girl. She was pregnant with my child. I just lost my job. The drug money is working fine. The bill is due. So the next thing to do is to get the money the best way you know how.”

Get a gun.

“And you go on strike without thinking about the consequences… Now your life is gone, theirs is gone too.

“I went to someone’s house trying to rob and they didn’t have anything. During that they got shot — I shot him. At that point in my life , I felt like I had no other choice. I was at his house, and he had the same gun in his hand, and I said, ‘If I let go of the gun, he’s going to kill me. “I thought. So I had to pull the trigger, and the moment I pulled the trigger, I shot him. ”

“Thank God” the victim survived and Johnson was sent to prison.

Now 41, Johnson is married, has a good job, and serves as an outreach minister to teens with Heart Church pastor Roger Franklin, a community activist.

He gave emotional testimony at the teen’s event on Feb. 10.

“Our parents never taught us love, but we wanted that love,” Johnson began. “We’ve seen that love, and we’ve always expected that love. But sometimes love only comes from God. When you’re all alone, when you’re ready to kill yourself — I… I tried to commit suicide four times. I tried to put myself out there. But by God’s grace, He saw something different and put me around people who actually expressed love. So even if we didn’t have anything at home or couldn’t afford to go to a counselor, God always sent good people with knowledge and wisdom.”

“The important thing is not to give up on your child,” Johnson said. “Many people give up on their children. Their voices are not heard. They act out because they are not loved. Their voices must be heard. They You have to pay attention. That’s what everyone wants. Just to be heard. Just listen. Just listen.”