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It happened as soon as the Detroit Lions were properly rested in the fetal position to complete the kind of collapse that is exactly what makes them Detroit Lions.
The official countdown to the Super Bowl (Taylor version).
It’s Taylor Swift’s world, after all. We just listen, see, marvel, swoon, scream, and live in it. And with Dementia Don’s Errors Tour, it’s all bad for business.
As if Travis Kelsey’s Daughter didn’t already give us too much, here comes a story straight out of the MAGA universe that’s too good to be true and too funny to be true. Still so. The galaxy’s most sensitive orange snowflake is bound by his dependencies, though he doesn’t know who they are.
Poor Riddle Donald Trump. Bronzer Don’s feelings seem to have been hurt.
Also.
If you’re wondering what the biggest pop star in the universe, the biggest game on earth, and — with us here — Prisoner in Waiting Number 38323 / Republican presidential candidate perhaps have in common, well. , let’s say. Some people don’t tune in to the news they need to know on MAGA TV.
Maybe you stumbled across it and mistook it for a Saturday Night Live highlight. If so. no. It’s crazy right wing media and they’re deadly serious.
It’s all…
It’s all about the Super Bowl. The modification is complete. No less an authority than Vivek Ramaswamy – you know, that pesky little gnat that Nikki Haley kept swatting away in debates – is that the powers that be (that damn power again!) are actually in Kansas. Assuring us that the City Chiefs have decided whether or not they will win the Super Bowl. Champions.
In a world where stupid people are really stupid, Baltimore quarterback Lamar Jackson defected for the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game, despite being rich from a big playoff win. I hit him and pretended to be dead. Same goes for the NFC and the Lions, who honestly were smart to disrupt the natural order of things with something as outrageous as a Super Bowl berth.
Yes, we’re talking about a match-fixing Super Bowl. Eagle-eyed viewers have already witnessed the San Francisco 49er star players being whisked away to a secret location by his NFL executives. It’s definitely for a debriefing about pitching a big game.
Why do you ask?
It’s all about President Biden. More specifically, the support he got from Taylor and her boyfriend. You know, right after the match-fixing Super Bowl.
MAGA World requires you to choose a lane here. Either Biden is a disease-ridden simpleton who can’t form a complete sentence before collapsing, or he’s so pumped up by the adrenaline of solving the 2020 election that he’s somehow overshadowed by a hugely talented QB. Either Patrick Mahomes is the evil genius who masterminded the birth and eventual draft, and someday he will be in this exact position to pull off this massive Super Bowl heist. Because he probably used the same power that was smart enough to find baby Obama in Kenya and change his birth certificate to “Hawaii.”
Hey, this damn leftist isn’t missing anything.
Of course, just like the geniuses in the Trump administration are siphoning off Newsmax TV, Biden can get Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, and more. Trump, they actually took the time to suggest — with a straight face — that there was Kid Rock and Ted Nugent.
The Podunk County Fair is similar, but I digress.
It’s all about Trump. Because that’s natural. It’s always like that. Just ask him. Let’s be honest: Judges, porn stars, politicians, pop stars, soccer players, lawyers, legislators, people who make nasty laws, school teachers, mothers, sports commissioners, governors, talk show hosts, etc. Will anyone be left behind? — Who wouldn’t try to get this patriotic public servant?
It’s all about jealousy. The very fact that taylor swift fills a stadium with the snap of his fingers is driving Mr. Crowd-sized and a quarter-filled arena crazy. How can she be more popular than the man who practices her personal cult?
As if. All Swifties do is buy and download her music, go see movies, go to concerts, follow her on social media and listen to her every word. These are all record numbers.
It’s a big deal. Where is the dedication there? Trumpers? That’s dedication, baby. Trump supporters will ignore common sense, the overwhelming evidence, and the rulings of Trump judges until they have completely swallowed the most ridiculous election fraud conspiracy this side of a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. And they will not hesitate to find, invade, desecrate, and defecate the nearest sacred place of democracy, such as the U.S. Capitol, while stealing, vandalizing, abusing, and injuring police officers. Noda.
Oh, sure, Trump rarely sniffs 50 percent in the polls that matter, piling up losses in midterm and general elections like fast food wrappers. But are fans of “Little Miss America” passionate enough to risk prison time and dive into shameless stupidity?
I didn’t think so.
It’s all about soccer fans. Damn, they just want to play their football. Is that too much? They don’t want his seven-second shot of a cute pop star while listening to Tony Romo beat free safety out-of-the-zone packages in a cover-2 defense. They want a snotty close-up of Coach Reid’s frozen mustache. thank you.
It’s all about Travis Kelce. What is his crime against those MAGA idiots who take the medical advice of a brain-dead former Green Bay quarterback at face value? They date beautiful, talented, successful, and wonderful women and encourage their fans to get the vaccine that could save their lives and the lives of their loved ones.
It’s all about Taylor Swift. This much we already knew. Between records, concerts, fans, influence, and the zeitgeist that comes with almost owning the world, she has a timeless pop culture moment. Remember Springsteen’s blues back in the mid-1980s? On the twin steroids of the internet and social media.
And just like Springsteen, whom the right envied from afar and longed for approval, Swift turned out to be evil, until she wasn’t. Having learned their lessons from The Boss’ experience, the right is moving past the Christmas rush and heading straight for a crusade of hatred and jealousy.
why? Swift is once again asking her fans to “take a breath!” – Vote.
Listen to MAGA media reports that Taylor Swift, all of her £120 (gold records, awards, glowing reviews, and £250 with ruthless cash), also used football players for “publicity”. That’s what I’m doing. Yes, Taylor Swift, who needs the help of football players for popularity and money as well as winning another Grammy, is probably using the NFL. Or is he using her? We got lost in the ridiculousness of it all.
During the five-minute segment, the MAGA anchor, who featured in Swift’s blistering attack, kissed the Trump statue 52 times. This is more than 10 times per minute. I’ve always said, if President Trump’s comments break into double digits, oh my goodness, our country is in danger. And sure enough, this time the danger is those damn kids and their rock’n’roll music.
“They’ve gone completely overboard in worshiping this woman,” lamented the man in the suit. “Whatever they call it…I think they’re pushing her to be her ‘idol.’ If you look it up in the Bible, it’s a sin. ”
That’s right, a man who is on one of the networks that focuses exclusively on Donald Trump’s lies and deceit 24/7 and gets kicked out of the air with just a question to Dear Leader, is a man who worships false idols. I’m worried.
In other OAN news, irony is dead.
Common sense, on the other hand, remains an endangered species. Of course, if you believe that Donald Trump won an election he clearly lost, and you’re okay with him pissing on our democracy because he’s a little crybaby who can’t stand losing, then I A tight end who decides pop stars and Super Bowls and elections makes a certain kind of sense.
So, if you break it down, according to the remnants of the intellectually bankrupt MAGA movement, the Instant Replay style of football, the world’s biggest pop stars, by all accounts polite, fair, generous, dedicated; A loving and fair-minded, extremely talented woman aims to destroy the world, solve the Super Bowl, and defeat the Orange Powerhouse.
sad!
MAGAs, you really need to calm down.
(The columnist apologized for his previous cheesy, lazy, unavoidable, obligatory reference to a Taylor Swift song title, which goes something like this, but he doesn’t agree with the Taylor Swift take that’s in the contract.)・It points out that there is a legal contract related to over-the-world clauses)
Seriously people. Shake it off.
— Jack FK Bungert is editor-in-chief of the Vallejo Times-Herald and Vacaville Reporter.
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