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Dear Annie: I just read a letter about a friend who talks too much about politics and is wondering if they should end their friendship.
I had a similar situation a few years ago. So I asked her aunt how to deal with it. That’s when I learned her rules regarding her three sensitive areas of discussion and how to handle the situation.
When someone I care about starts talking about those things, I wait until I can interject: I never have It ends well. I don’t want to get into conversations that could potentially ruin our relationship or friendship because everyone has their own opinions, beliefs, and thoughts on those subjects. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about, like movies or books?
If they persist, I repeat it and I walk away. If one or more of the “big three” are mentioned, repeat. Eventually, the person learns to avoid it in conversations with me, or learns to avoid me when they have to talk about themselves to someone else.
— avoid discussion
For those of you who avoid arguments: I’ve never heard of a rule against discussing sports, but certainly it’s usually a good idea not to talk about religion or politics during gatherings.
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Dear Annie: I empathize with women who can’t seem to convince their husbands to share the responsibility. I also faced the same problem. No matter how much I talked to her husband, the situation did not change. Although I loved her husband dearly, I found myself growing more and more resentful towards her husband as time went on.
After 15 years I came up with a solution. I thought long and hard about which activities to stop that only affected her husband. I continued doing laundry for myself and my children, but stopped washing her husband’s clothes. I started using the children’s bathroom and continued to clean it, but I stopped cleaning the master bath, which her husband continued to use. I continued shopping but no longer bought his beer and snacks.
The immediate result was that I felt less resentful. It didn’t take long for her husband to notice the change. He never told me about it, but he started doing these things himself. He eventually started doing more.
We’ve been married for 42 years and we share responsibilities almost equally.
— ask him for help
For those who want his help: You may have been a little passive-aggressive at first, but your actions worked. Perhaps next time, if something bothers you, first tell him what you are going to do and why, and only do it if necessary.
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