The downside of spring break in Europe

Spring is just around the corner and two things are important to my calendar. It’s the Easter holiday, when the house is once again full of families and a surprising number of kids, and end-of-season skiing. But the older I get (or, dear reader, age is no more up for debate than wealth, so I won’t say how old), the less enthusiasm I have for these annual events. Masu.

Let’s start with Easter. Now, don’t get me wrong. The Esterhazy family, devout members of the Holy Roman Empire, take everything very seriously, even if it is quite difficult to cause real excitement on holidays. But at least in Europe he gets a day or two off, whereas in America it’s not even a public holiday (oddly, apart from crazy Wall Street, Good Friday is a day off every year).

Christmas is full of charming carols and seasonal “hits.” I can’t help but notice that no one in the history of popular music has created Easter music that goes beyond hymns and requiems. The Christmas classics are endless and keep growing. Saks Fifth Ask any employee at any retail store, from Avenue to Starbucks, and they’ll testify that these days they hear the Christmas classic from early October through New Year’s. The idea of ​​a singer starting an Easter special would seem completely strange.

And let’s discuss holiday decorations and, of course, fashion. Every home in Christendom is stocked with boxes and boxes of seasonal Christmas decorations, and as the song goes, we “decorate the hallways,” but many of us probably have pastel decorations. Besides color, you’ll probably be racking your brain trying to figure out what Easter-specific decorations you own. – Colored rabbits and chicks, and of course the eggs are becoming more and more vivid in color, to the point that they now seem dangerous to the environment. However, Generalquartiermeister (aka German Wife) insists on making a traditional Osterbaum (look it up).

When it comes to Christmas fashion, I’ll admit that no haute couture house has ever sent a model down the runway wearing a Christmas-themed outfit, but I can still feel the side-eye. Remember that amazing sweater from “Love Actually”? Easter fashion…except for the Easter bonnet, it came out almost together with girdles and spats. However, while watching the “Easter Parade”, We all marveled at Ann Miller and Judy Garland’s spectacular wardrobes at the Esterházy mansion over the holiday weekend. The scene alone, in which Fred Astaire chooses Ms. Miller’s Easter outfit at a New York haute couture house, is a must-see for anyone in the fashion industry.

And then came up with a series of unrelated, bunny-headed Easter themes, the aforementioned bizarre egg obsession that only candy makers really understand, and of course Easter baskets full of chocolates. who is? There’s so much chocolate that even the most ravenous of children, Augustus Gloop, eventually gives in and says, “Please, no more.”

When we hear about chocolate, the next spring disappointment is skiing. The Swiss ski resort of Gstaad is home to a famous town center cafe called Charlie’s that serves the darkest, richest, most expensive hot chocolate drink on the planet. I think the cost depends on the amount of calories, but I took out a second mortgage and then needed a two-hour workout with a personal trainer to reduce the huge amount of calories I was consuming with just a sip.

But hot chocolate is definitely not the only thing rich at Charlie’s. Remember, Gstaad, like St. Moritz, which competes for Switzerland’s finest stakes, is actually not that great of a ski area. It is low and often strikingly brown. Since the beginning of the year, we have hardly seen any snowflakes.

But the people who flock to the extremely expensive Palace Hotel and the frighteningly exclusive Eagle Club know this all too well. So they head to Charlie’s, where most of the day feels like a middle-aged fashion show from the ’60s, filled with women dressed head-to-toe in mink and Parisian-appropriate designer outfits. There is.

Of course, the women there would rather die than be seen actually putting on skis, but that doesn’t mean many of them proudly wear their Fusalp and Perfect Moment workout clothes and say, “My I’m here now. “I’m getting off the slope” or “I’m about to hit the slope.” But mostly, it screams, “Look at my gorgeous, expensive, and very flattering ski clothes.” So let me ask you a question about fashion. Why do so many people freely choose ski clothing in color combinations (like orange and brown) that would get them busted by the fashion police on Madison Avenue or Rodeo Drive? It seems that the thin mountain air leads to a loss of fashion sense.

Gstaad has the same number of permanent residents as Aspen, the US ski destination of choice for 0.01% of Americans. Their number is 7,000. But at least in Aspen, most people get out on the snow from time to time, even if they have a $1,000-a-day ski instructor to take care of them. But to put this in context, Aspen has more than 100 millionaire real estate owners. Homes often sell for more than $70 million, and the median home price in Aspen last year was more than $9 million.

If you’re mildly shocked by this number, I’ll tell you something that will make you smile a little. Gstaad’s regular cars are driven by many young blonde women delivering their offspring to private ski guides. This car is a classic Land Rover Defender, an old agricultural workhorse. These chunky, military-grade, hard-to-drive vehicles are now all over Gstaad. They scream toughness and serious practicality, “I’m rugged and real, so I can go anywhere I want on this mountain.”

However, I can safely say that none of them were used seriously off-road throughout the season. And to completely debunk that myth, at night they are all parked in a spotless underground chalet garage, complete with underfloor heating (you can’t park in front of the house in Gstaad, God forbid), some even feature piped muzaks and artwork on the city walls. no kidding.

If possible, this family would happily eat chocolate eggs, but only if they were from Fortnum & Mason or Jean-Paul Evin.