Raising a teenager as an expatriate in the Middle East was difficult.

• Ulrike Lenmin Wolfley and her husband were living as expatriates in the Middle East and raising their children.
• When my daughter became a teenager and started drinking, I was worried that she would get into trouble in Dubai.
• She left Dubai to give her daughter a “normal” teenage life.

My husband and I were sitting outside our house. dubai, ignoring the noises coming from the teenagers partying inside. They were shaking cocktails with smuggled alcohol. We were making sure they did not leave our location in any way other than safe driving.

At that point I had heard too many stories from teenagers. dubai The police are called and the parents get into serious trouble. According to the UAE government, Providing alcohol to a person under 21 years of age can be fined up to 100,000 UAE dirhamor $27,000, jail time, and deportation.

but teenagers will be teenagers.

It is in their nature to push the boundaries of what is possible and allowed by their parents and the law.

international education

We moved to the Middle East when our daughter Christina was 4 years old. We started in Doha, Qatar, then Muscat, Oman, and finally settled in Dubai, UAE. It was a charmed life filled with sunshine, a daily swimming pool, safe childcare, and friends from all over the world as part of an international expat community.

She learned about many cultural differences, religions, and global traditions. I’m glad that all of that helped transform her into the open-minded young woman she is today.

But like everything, Expat life, the good points with some difficulties should also be considered. Especially in Dubai, where we spent most of her teenage years. Life there was far from normal.

Everyday life, but different from what we know

Dubai is known for its glitz, luxury and opulence. And should also be known for being a completely spoiled foreign brat. Child allowances are often as much as someone else’s salary in their home country. There, it is common for families to have a driver and a maid. Weekend brunches with unlimited champagne are also held regularly at five-star hotels. It’s not the children’s fault that they grow up thinking this kind of life is normal.

My husband and I splurged as well. After all, this was the reason we moved abroad in the first place. It was a tax-free paycheck and a better lifestyle. But as Christina grows up, we become more aware that when she leaves the Middle East and goes to college, she will be landing on Earth with great hardship and few useful life skills. I did.

My daughter had never ridden the bus alone because there was little local transportation available and the climate made walking impossible for several months of the year. Instead, she was used to staying at her friend’s house and then being taken back to our house in her car. Her mother had parked her personal Rolls Royce with her Burberry seat covers next to my dusty little Jeep. Another friend lived on a man-made palm island with his own beach, and yet another regularly enjoyed weekends on his family’s private jet.

reality check down under

After 6 years, we decided that Dubai had too much potential and life-changing consequences to raise a teenager. We packed up and moved to Australia to give her daughter a sample of “normal life” as a teenager.

The normal life we ​​envisioned included taking the tram to school and understanding that not every family could spend the equivalent of a small country’s GDP every weekend. .

She hated us, her friends, for taking her away from the only life she knew, and simply refused to understand that it was for her own good. But it’s also normal teenage behavior.

It wasn’t easy, but she weathered the storm, friends from Dubai came to visit, she met koalas and kangaroos, she partied without any repercussions, got her driver’s license, and graduated from high school in Melbourne. After graduating, I went to university in England. She also allowed us to move. Finally.

Do you have a personal essay you would like to share about living or raising children abroad? Contact the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.